COOKING DISASTER!!!!!!

SIGH!! i am so tired...i had the most disastrous dinner of my whole life!! No not the taste of the food but the preparation !! i intended to cook porridge with spam coated with egg..yes that sounds good, or so it did to me. BUT after boiling the porridge , i put it aside and decided that it would be time to cut the spam and coat it. SO i started to cut my spam and then i took out the egg from the fridge. GOSH !! there was one egg that was already broken inside ! YES a newly bought tray of eggs. HOw stupid of me not to check. and then i slowly took a spoon and scooped the egg out. BUt i then realised that it affected the other eggs too, thus making them stuck to the box. SO i took out all of the eggs and put them into a plastic container. AND I PUT IT ON THE HOT plate!!! that was the biggest mistake ever. REmember that i just boiled my porridge so my hotplate is hot. YES how clever i was and i put the plastic container on the HOT plate. And yes as u can probably guess now. THE PLASTIC CONTAINER MELTED!! ARRRGHHHHH!!!! ANd i had to take a sponge to remove all that.. AND yes its poisonous fumes. It was so hot that i sort of burnt my finger. IF u think this is all, u are clearly mistaken. That was only the beginning. SO i had to clear up a whole big mess. ANd then i started to fry my luncheon meat and all . Then i put it all on the table. NExt, i held the bovril by the cap and it flew out from my hand. YES I had to chase the rolling BOVRIL bottle. Oh i forgot to mention that i couldnt open the bovril cover earlier before i started cooking so much so after struggling for so long. I decided to apply my ever so limited knowledge of science. Heat will expand the cover ! and so it struck me and i went to boil water just to open the stupid cover. Ok and now back to where i was. So i started eating my dinner and all. I had so much washing to do after that. Ok nvm then when i was gonna throw the trash i realised the egg had leaked out all over my bin. SIGH!! and i had to wash the trash can too ..!! AS if i didnt have enough washing.!! THis is the worst experience ever...smelling poisonous fumes. getting all irritated with the stupid things that i do. MY goodness!!! worse day every!! I HATE COOKING !!! i cant stand it..it kills me so much!!! juST when i thought i was getting back into the swing of it..it has totally turned me off.!!!!!!! Im so mad, what a disastrous dinner. i shant cook porridge for a long long time.!!!!..............................